Miraculously Ordinary

Sometimes life just comes at you unexpectedly.  Sometimes you decided it is time to tackle an niggling long standing problem with prayer.  Sometimes that is the only thing that will work.

Over the past few years there is a minor concern that has always been hiding in the back of my mind with one of my children.  As we prepared to embark on our 4th homeschooling year it became clear that it was now time to meet this concern head on.  I admit to feeling very frustrated, and responsible, and overwhelmed, and unprepared to manage the situation.  In a moment of desperation I googled “Our Lady Undoer of Knots” and found a very beautiful novena to her.   As I found myself unexpectedly chatting with a friend from far away the next day, she had expressed similar concerns for one of her children.  It was decided then and there that we would start this novena the following day for our similar “knot”.  
   I cannot even begin to tell you how incredibly blessed I felt to share this cross and this very special prayer with one of my very dear friends.  I really think God had us reaching out to each other on that day because He knew we needed each other.  He knew we needed the benefit of the others prayers, we needed to know we were not alone.
  The next day I took up my very worn rosary beads, and my printed out copy of the novena and started to pray.  I asked a St John Bosco, who had recently been placed before me (a whole different great story) to pray with me.  I then proceeded to pray one of the most emotional rosaries I have ever prayed in my whole life.  I could not even say the prayers out loud over the gasping breath of my sobs.  It is said that to pray the rosary is to hold the hand of Our Blessed Mother, at that moment, it felt more like sobbing into her arms.  I cannot tell you how freeing it felt to unburden myself.  To hand over this knot that has been effecting me and our small little family.  
   The novena starts each day with an Act of Contrition.  What an absolutely powerful way to begin any prayer.  Admitting our failings and also our desire, with the grace of God, to do better.  To humble yourself so completely before asking for the help you seek. You then proceed with the first 3 decades of the rosary, followed by the novena prayer of the day and then the final two decades of the rosary and the closing novena prayer.  As I moved through the mysteries of the rosary, I kept my particular knot in the midst of the meditations.  The mysteries took on a whole new meaning when paired with my small but heavy burden.  Adding the daily novena prayers in the midst of the rosary adds another piece to meditate on as you beg for mercy and grace and healing.
  As I continued to move through the days of this novena they were not quite as emotional as the first day, but through the prayers and my meditations on the mysteries I began to notice peace seeping into my days.  St John Bosco says “You can be absolutely sure that any favor you ask of Mary will be granted unless it prove harmful.”  I had turned over this huge burden to Our Mother.  I had left it in her loving and capable hands.  I knew she would help me find a way to “untie the knot” or to help me embrace my way through it.  I like to imagine her loving hands holding my family, peacefully working her way through this huge tangle.  Loosening the knot here, pulling some thread out there, sometimes tightening the tangle to work a piece lose. As with all knots I am discovering just how much of my life it has effected and I am working on my end to undo the damage. 

 When I look at things a little from a distance, I can see how this knot is part of a very beautiful tapestry that God has woven for this phase of our lives.  How He has placed us in this time, in this location, put just the right people in our lives at just the right time.  His love and care for us is breathtaking.   

 As I initially sat looking at the situation before me, alone and frustrated and overwhelmed, God placed a Saint, a very good friend, and Our patient Mother in my path.  He loves us without limit, and gives us these wonderful tools at our disposal.  Yes, we absolutely can go right to Jesus and ask for His help, and I do, all day, every day.  But the wonderful thing about being Catholic is that we have all these other ways to help us grow in holiness.  God has used this time in my life to remind me that I am not alone.  Not only is He always with me in the midst of everything, but I can also turn to my friends here on earth and in heaven to pray with me through this trial. I did not expect this particular concern of mine to be resolved by the end of the novena (but that would have been awesome!) but now I feel more able to do what I need to do.  I see my part in this mess and I am ready to fix it.  I have more patience to tend to the other parts I am not in control of. Ultimately I know my goal for my children is to help them choose heaven, this is a bump along the way, but God’s grace and mercy are unending.

Finding a Quiet Time in Your Busy Day

One of the best practices I ever undertook as a young woman was the quiet time.
These times between me and God were so precious and I did so much growing. But when I became a mother, these times became very, very hard to find. On my personal blog, find out how to fit in a quiet time regardless of the business of your day.

Click here.

Fatherhood

My husband just wrote a wonderful blog on the topic of fatherhood.
Please take the time to check it out if you haven't already.

Click HERE to read it now, and please share.

The Betrothed

     I have had an eReader for about 5 years now, and I LOVE it. Having an eReader allows me to combine my two favorite activities, holding a baby and reading a book. Another benefit of having an eReader is the ability to download books from the comfort of my own home. As a mother of young children even going to the library can be a challenge. However, with the abundance of free public domain classics, stories that have stood the test of time, I have easy access to hundreds of incredible free books that I might not have found before.

     For example, a few years ago we were lucky enough to live in Italy and as I was swapping book recommendations with a good friend of mine she told me about the great Italian Classic “The Betrothed” by Allesandro Manzoni. I was unable to find an English translation at the time and so I filed it away in an old “to read” list. A few years later I was looking for something to read and rediscovered this book, I was excited to find I could download it for free and quickly began reading.

     The Betrothed is a historic historical novel. The story takes place in the lake region of Northern Italy during the 1620’s and was written in the 1840’s. The story focuses on the tale of two young lovers, Renzo and Lucia. Because “bad guys” will be bad, and cowards will be cowardly the two young lovers are prevented from getting married. They seek the help of a very saintly priest who helps them escape the region until the situation preventing their marriage at home is resolved. The rest of the novel follows the two young lovers as they go their separate ways hoping to reunite soon.

     Lucia herself is a very devout, fervent, and innocent young woman. Your heart breaks for the life she finds herself in compared to the life she had planned for herself. Yet through it all she remains steadfast in her faith, always trusting in God and seeking counsel from those in a position of authority over her. Her faith in the midst of some very terrible circumstances actually transforms and inspires those around her. Renzo is an impulsive young man affected by the emotions and thoughts of those around him. He benefits greatly from the strong faith of his love Lucia, but falters a little bit when they are forced apart. He makes some poor decisions and then bravely suffers as a result of those choices.

     Even though Renzo and Lucia are the main characters of the story, the setting plays an incredible part of the story as well. Manzoni, the author, gives us many details into the daily life of medieval war torn Italy. Through the eyes of the characters we witness a famine starved mob roaming the city of Milan, the horrors and sufferings of the plague stricken countryside, and the fear of the advancing looting German army. The history soaks into the story and plays its own part in the plight of our characters. For example, in the beginning of the story we read a brief study on when, why and how the local government tried to fix the bread prices, this leads to famine and riots which Renzo finds himself in the middle of. A little later in the story we are given a summary of common ways medieval doctors thought the plague was spread, one idea was an advancing army would send sick people in disguise into the city to weaken it making it easier to conquer. As a result poor Renzo enters an unfamiliar city and finds himself the focus of suspicion.

     There are also many secondary characters that help or hinder our couple along their way. The novel is rich and lengthy and so we are allowed small glimpses into the past of several secondary characters who cross paths with the two lovers without distracting from the the main story. Some are good and some are bad. There is a nice balance between the two extremes. On one extreme we have Don Rodigo the villain responsible for the separation of the couple compared to Brother Cristoforo who is a humble and saintly friar that helps the couple escape. We also learn about Don Abbondio, the priest too afraid to stand up for what is right and Federico Cardinal Borromeo who is a generous and gentle bishop that provides beautiful guidance to our heroine. The theme of comparing character traits to several supporting characters makes the individual stories very memorable both for their own story and for the small part they play in this story without distracting from the main story/plot.

     There is so much that is good in this story. There is much to be learned from the setting alone, and when it is interwoven with this wonderful story of love and redemption while enriched/embroidered with the small side stories of our supporting characters, there is not much else left to add. The story can be a little long, there are 720 total pages in which this tale unwinds, but I would say it was worth every paragraph. Every back-story and historical explanation plays a very important part in understanding the whole novel and the circumstances our characters find themselves in. There is enough action to keep you interested in what will happen next, and the story moves along very quickly.  There is also enough interesting historical information to keep you informed of the significance of the events as they take place. I encourage you to give it a try, let me know what you think.

My Mornings with St Frances de Sales

I am going to do something unusual. I am going to recommend a book that I am only halfway through. I enjoy this book so much, and don’t really envision those feeling changing at all as I continue to progress through the book. As people have been reading and talking about this book for nearly four hundred years I think I am safe in recommending it prematurely. Introduction to the Devout Life was written from a series of letters St Frances had sent to various laity under his spiritual direction. Most notably his cousin Madame Marie de Charmoisy. The book is very gently written and easy to understand. It was written for all Christians, especially those who still live in the world, and acts as a guide book to help us rightly order our minds and activities so we may attain heaven.

A few years ago as my husband was getting set to deploy, I was having a conversation with our priest. I was asking him for suggestions on something gentle and easy to read to encourage and help me in the difficult year I was facing. I wanted it to help me grow spritually, but also not take a lot of brain power to get through. I was facing a year solo, raising and schooling 4 kids, one of which was newly born, I wasn’t (and still am not) ready for Aquinas.. Without a moments hesitation he suggested Introduction to the Devout Life by St Frances de Sales. I promptly downloaded it to my kindle reader and began reading it shortly thereafter. As I began reading it, I was overwhelmed with how incredible it was. It was good, really good, like a gooey fudgy pan of brownies fresh from the oven good. I desperately wanted to keep reading, devouring it, but I also wanted to savor each morsel and let it soak in and transform me. In the everyday care of my busy family, and in my desire not to read the book too quickly it fell by the wayside, and was forgotten about.

Recently, St Frances de Sales kept coming into my day. He would be quoted here and there by very good friends. I would read random blog posts that would talk about his writings. He was trying to get my attention, and I just knew I had to get back into his book. I had to finish it. But I was still hesitant to read it too quickly. I still wanted to be able to absorb it as I was reading it. One morning I was opening my email and reading a tiny bit of the Catechism through flocknote when an idea struck me. What if I did the same thing for Intro to the Devout Life? What if I just read one chapter a day? This would encourage me to finish reading the book, but also give me the time I wanted to savor each small morsel.

I have been doing just that for the past few months now. Every morning, as I finish my coffee, before I officially start my day, I will open my book and read one more chapter from St Frances de Sales. The chapters are short, and so it only takes a few minutes, and then I have the rest of the day to reflect on what I have read. It is hard to limit myself to just one chapter, but I gain so much in just a few short pages, that I benefit from the extra time to reflect on what I just read. The writing is gentle and easy. He has a gift for metaphors which makes it very easy to hold an image in your mind as you go about your day. For example here is one quote from Section 3, Chapter 10 on attending to the cares of life with our too much anxiety:
“Imitate a little child, whom one sees holding tight with one hand to its father, while with the other it gathers strawberries or blackberries from the wayside hedge. Even so, while you gather and use this world's goods with one hand, always let the other be fast in your Heavenly Father's Hand, and look round from time to time to make sure that He is satisfied with what you are doing, at home or abroad. Beware of letting go, under the idea of making or receiving more--if He forsakes you, you will fall to the ground at the first step. When your ordinary work or business is not specially engrossing, let your heart be fixed more on God than on it; and if the work be such as to require your undivided attention, then pause from time to time and look to God, even as navigators who make for the haven they would attain, by looking up at the heavens rather than down upon the deeps on which they sail. So doing, God will work with you, in you, and for you, and your work will be blessed.”

So I encourage you. Whether you buy a hardcopy of the book, download it into an ereader, or read it over the internet, start to read this book. Take it a little bit at a time, one small chapter a day. Start your morning with St Frances de Sales as he teaches us how to turn every moment into a gift for our Savior.

Lent is for lovers

With all the secular focus on valentine's day going on in America right now most non-Catholic Christians are organizing their thoughts around the idea of love... what it means, what it is, what it isn't, and how to live a life filled with true love. For many people, it's a time to focus on marriage and family life. This is done as a contrast to the messages of sex and sensuality sent out by the secular world in an attempt to entice people to a deeper consumerism on February 14 and around it. Valentine's day is a money maker, but it is also a day most people perceive as a promise-- a vision of hope. After all, who doesn't want to be loved and love someone? It's what we are made for.

Every valentine's day I read pages and pages of status updates and tweets that vary in range from woefully depressed and borderline suicidal to ecstatic, all based on the person's emotional responses to the treatment they receive on Valentine's Day. No matter which way I look at it, it is always a big deal in the eyes of my peers, which is ironic since in our family we don't actually celebrate it! Most of these statuses and tweets demonstrate a general consumption with feelings... the carnal, human response to valentine's day is to respond with extraordinary joy if we are shown special attentions and with misery if we are ignored-- or worse, rejected.

What the world doesn't tell you is that Valentine's Day is a relatively unnoticed feast day in the Catholic Church celebrating a saint who suffered a bloody martyrdom for the glory of Jesus Christ. Unless Catholics have a particular devotion to St Valentine, you won't see us doing anything particularly special that day besides mention him in our morning and evening prayers. If we do, it's usually because we are grasping at ways to sanctify the secular mania we see around us-- looking for ways to make holiness out of those pink candy hearts and chocolate covered strawberries, to find meaning in the messages of the promises of sex and love that pass before us this time of year.

Looking at the martyrdom of St. Valentine, though, usually gets missed-- and yet there is so much there to glean. Because what the church is REALLY telling us at this time is not to write gushing love letters to each other and spend lavish amounts on each other's vain imaginings, but to look deep, deep inside at our OWN selfishness and pride.... the things which prevent us from being better expressions of love in the world. It's lent.

Lent comes every year in the forty days before we celebrate Easter. Although it begins at slightly different times in the eastern churches and in the west, and is observed in slightly different ways, one thing is certain: our lives will be consumed, for the next forty days, not with ourselves but with

prayer, fasting, and almsgiving

These are the basic tenets of our faith, and we are told in scripture that when we practice them we are "blessed" and will find "lasting joy."
And yet for most practicing Catholics, lent is the most challenging time of year. We willfully take on practices which are uncomfortable for us. There have been years where I committed to befriending people I couldn't stand, or staying away from foods that I absolutely loved. There have been years where I stopped expressing myself in areas I had become used to letting myself go completely, or when I decided to begin a prayer, fasting, or almsgiving regimen that physically cost me. (in sleep, or money, or pride.... things I hold dear.)

There are various lenten traditions, but the general rule is to pray more, to fast and abstain, especially on wednesday and friday, to make stations of the cross (expect blogs about them soon!) and to give more money than is comfortable for the duration of the forty days. Most people begin a strict regimen or rule of life to help them on their journey.

We do these things in the hope that we can begin to master ourselves and let the Holy Spirit take the reigns. They make the difference between us and the rest of the world--- they make us holy.
Like Saint Valentine, we are called to give ALL for the cause of Christ, but very few answer that call.

For those who do-- the joy and blessedness of Easter when it arrives, beginning with one single flame of hope in the cold, damp darkness of the empty church-- is absolutely tangible.
Today, as many of us take the first step of the difficult lenten journey by coming forward to receive ashes on our foreheads with the words "remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return," echoing through the stillness in our hearts, may we all find the strength to reject the wasted lusts and saccharine sentiments of the secular world and press forward into the glory of the paschal mystery where we will find the meaning of True Love.

Preparing for Lent

One of my favorite seasons of the Liturgical year is upon us, friends - Lent. I feel like I get myself more centered on Christ during this time of year than any other. It is a time of repentance and sacrifice that is followed by the joy of the celebration of Christ’s victory over death during Easter.

Last week, my bible study group had a special Lenten Preparation service. Our pastor came and spoke to us about the Sacrament of Reconciliation, praying the Rosary, and adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. We then had an opportunity to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation and to spend some time in adoration. I have to tell you, I felt so amazing afterward. The grace of his mercy and forgiveness just flowed out of me.

Like many others, I find going to Confession uncomfortable, even painful at times. But when it is over, a huge weight is lifted off of my shoulders. It seems a lot like exercise. I don’t ever want to go to the gym, but once I do and actually exercise I wonder why I don’t do it more. If you haven’t received the Sacrament of Reconciliation in awhile, I would encourage you to go especially during this time of the year.

In the few days before Ash Wednesday, we typically talk about “What are you giving up” for Lent this year. My husband and I had a talk with our small children ages 3 and 5 on Sunday about what we could do for our family Lenten observances. One thing we are going to do is to make a LentenCharity Chain. Each time he or I catch one of them being extra kind and caring with their siblings or with us, they will receive a paper strip to add to our chain. Hopefully, by Easter it will be very long and a visual symbol of their charity to each other.

As for myself, I am giving up breakfast cereal. That may sound weird to some of you, but cereal is a representation of my laziness. I actually prefer to eat eggs, oatmeal, or protein smoothies, but out of laziness I revert to the less healthy option of breakfast cereal. 

How are you and your family preparing to observe Lent this year?